| August 21, 2013

Men are weird. This we know. However, we always thought we had an inkling as to what catches their eyes first on a woman … something of the face and chest persuasion.

But now that we’ve stumbled upon a Harper’s BAZAAR UK experiment that executed some good ol’ fashioned investigative journalism, we’ve come to find that we’re terribly, terribly mistaken (and in desperate need for a root touch-up and mani/pedi).

READ: Can How You Flirt Determine the Success of Your Relationships?

Essentially, the BAZAAR UK editors paid a visit to their brother publication Esquire UK to ask the following: What do men notice? (Hint: They’re not exactly looking for kind eyes or a sweet smile.)

The answers and side commentary will not only shock you, but perhaps enrage you. See what we mean below.

Feet and Toes

"Imagine if Cinderella had had a bunion? The Prince would have run a mile."

The Size of Heads

"Sorry ladies. We can't blame you for this, and God knows enough of us suffer from it too, but a giant head, as Chandler in 'Friends' once discovered, is deeply distracting."

When Roots Need Re-Dyeing

"You obviously wanted to believe you were blonde/red/not gray once. So do we."