| November 6, 2013

Although I often write about how to tell if a guy is into you, today's article is going to focus on the opposite: how to tell if he's not actually into you. If you've noticed these signs in your new relationship, it may be time to evaluate if he's really the guy for you.

READ: Can You Have A Healthy Relationshp Without Sex?

1. He's Not "Around" You

This is probably the number one tell-tale sign that lets you know if a guy is into you or not. If he's not into you, then he'll surely not be "around" you. Even though when a guy is attracted to a woman, he'll act in many different ways (he might tease her, he might ignore her, he might be annoying), but at the end of the day, he's always "around" her when he's doing this. If a guy is into you, he'll find reasons to be close to you. You'll notice him popping up in your vicinity. This is something that you probably didn't notice initially, but once you realize it, you'll start to see it all the time.

READ: 10 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

2. He's Not Interested In Talking To You

It can't get any more straightforward than this. If he doesn't have an interest in you, he won't have an interest in talking to you. The key here is to not automatically assume that he's not interested in talking to you because he's afraid of making the first move, or takes a long time to reply to your texts. A lot of guys have all sorts of weird texting habits, but the general, not-interested-in-talking-to-you issue should be apparent over the long run. You need to see if he actually has ample opportunities to text you or talk to you, and then based on those, decide whether or not he chooses to take those opportunities or simply ignores them.

READ: Why Women Keep Dating the Wrong Guys

Finally, if you're talking but he always seems to be the one who's trying to end the conversation, that's another clear sign that he's not actually interested in talking to you.

3. He Talks To You Like He Does With His Friends

This is actually quite easy to spot. If he always talks to you in a casual tone of voice, similar to how he does with his friends, then he's probably not into you. When a guy is interested, there's always at least a slight variation in how he goes about speaking with you, a variation that proves he's interested. He has a special way of talking to you, or extends some special kind of attention — something that he doesn't do with anyone else.

One of the best things you can do is to observe his behavior with other people; that way it will allow you to judge if how he's acting with you is any different. More on this at points 7 and 8.

READ: 5 Lies You've Been Told About What Men Want

4. He Has No Problem Telling You About The Girls He Likes

Yet another clear-cut sign that he's not interested. Make sure you don't confuse this with the occasional story about some girl — all guys do that from time to time, and it really isn't a big deal. However, if you talk to a guy and he's having no trouble telling you about all the girls he likes, the girls he'll sleep with and any other fantasies of this nature, on a regular basis, you can take that as a clear sign that he's not that into you. If he was, he wouldn't be telling you about all these other ladies.

READ: The Biggest Secrets Men Keep From Their Partners

5. Bad Body Language

If he avoids eye contact, sits with his body away from you, doesn't try to keep the conversation going, or generally maintains a distance from you, you can take all of these as signs that he's not interested.

READ: 4 More Major Rejection Red Flags

6. He Doesn't Seem To Have Any Time For You

I hate flaking. When a woman flakes, I learn two very important things. First of all, she is probably not into me, and secondly, she is probably not worth my time.

On that note, if a guy is flaky, cancels plans and doesn't reschedule, he is not interested in you. Quite frankly, if he misses two consecutive dates, you can be absolutely sure of this. Missing one date is one thing, but if he really wants to see you, believe me, he will make the time and put in the effort.

READ: Does Flirting Lead To Cheating

7. He Seems To Flirt With You, But Also With Everyone Else

As mentioned on point 3, noticing a guy's behavior with other people is critical in determining whether or not he's into you. If you think he's flirting with you, look closely at how he acts around other women; does he seem to flirt with them too? He might just be that flirty guy, and the fact that he acts that way around you means nothing.

READ: How Flirting Can Translate To True Love

8. He's Friendly To You, But Also To Everyone Else

Again, this is another reason why you need to pay attention to his behavior. You might think he's overly friendly with you, but in fact, he's just a friendly, social, outgoing guy. If you see that his behavior is no different with you than with any other person, that's a clear sign that he doesn't have any particular or special interest in you.

READ: How To Put The Sex Back Into Your Relationship

9. He Keeps His Feelings Hidden

Although this issue is probably more prevalent in relationships, if you're seeing a guy for quite some time and he has a hard time talking about his feelings, or seems to keep them all hidden, that's a common sign he's not interested. If a guy is into you, he'll generally let you know about those feelings sooner or later. If you're unsure about this issue, the best thing you can do is to give him some more space. Just make sure you don’t waste your time on him.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your love life's success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com — a place where the conventional "dating mindset" is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.