Are You Hard to Set Up?
Professional matchmakers can be a great resource for singles, but how do you know if you’re an ideal candidate? We went to Amy Laurent, professional matchmaker and star of Bravo’s “Miss Advised,” to find out.
“I believe there’s a match for everyone, I really do,” Laurent says. However, she acknowledges that some people are more of a challenge than others. Here, Laurent lays out her short list of what makes people difficult to match:
A fear of commitment.
“First dates are easy,” Laurent says. “I have more respect for the person who’s going out on the second, and the third, and the fourth.”
“It takes a lot more guts to really get to know someone and open up,” she says. That fear of dating and making yourself vulnerable to another person is “what keeps them from having anything real — because they can’t really connect with someone,” Laurent says. “And that’s never going to change until they get over their dating fears,” she adds.
Are you fixed on a “type"? It might be time to date outside of that box. When setting people up, “You have to be very, very careful to look for those signs of someone who is just impossible, close-minded and very rigid in their views on dating,” Laurent says.
She’s not just talking about a client's laundry list of must-haves, either. “I’m talking about people who come in and say, ‘They either need to be an attorney, or maybe a doctor of some kind,'” says Laurent. “I mean, very specific.”
Laurent says these kinds of people are approaching dating in the completely wrong way. "That needs to be addressed before they can really find the perfect person,” she says.
People who claim to be over an ex.
If you’re not over your ex, you’re going to be hard to set up. Laurent has clients who insist they’re over their exes, “but every action that they’re doing, you know that they’re not,” she says. “That’s a waste of time. To me, that’s unmatchable, and they’re not being honest with me or themselves,” she adds.
People who play victim.
Feeling sorry for yourself about a bad dating track record will only lessen your chances of finding love, Laurent says. “You have to take ownership of why you’re going out on bad dates — why you’re choosing the wrong people,” she adds. If you’ve been on a slew of bad dates, you might think there's no use in contacting a matchmaker, but Laurent says, “you just have to figure out the problem and fix it.”
People who constantly give up.
Don't give up on finding love, Laurent advises. "People give up just before they were about to get what they wanted.”
“When you get frustrated, (that's) the point where you need to stay positive and hang in there because that’s when things change,” Laurent says. “I can’t tell you how many people have that conversation with me, and shortly thereafter (love is) right around the corner. It’s all a matter of having the right attitude.”