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Ask Diana: I Want to Contact My Ex's New Girlfriend

Ask Diana: I Want to Contact My Ex's New Girlfriend

Hi Diana,
 
My ex-boyfriend — who I still love — is in a new relationship.  I can't stand it.  I hate that he has moved on even though it's been two years.  I haven't met anyone that I'm serious about yet.  I reached out to his new girl on Twitter a few times.  I think she should know I still want to be with him.  What should I do?
 
Melanie

 
Hi Melanie,
 
I understand you're having a difficult time accepting that your ex has moved on but your behavior is very unhealthy for you, for him and for his new girlfriend.  You must get a handle on your emotions.  You say you love him but it appears to be more about possessing and controlling him rather than a true concern for his well-being.  In fact, your actions are flat out toxic.  Do not confuse a bruised ego with an overwhelming passion for someone. 
 
I recommend you stop following the timeline of your ex and his gf.   You are driving yourself crazy.  Do not live vicariously through his life and blossoming relationship.  Use this as an opportunity to find your own love within yourself and potentially with someone else. If you don't, you are undoubtedly creating unneeded drama for all of the parties involved especially for yourself.  Do you really want to be labeled the 'crazy ex girlfriend?'  Don't diminish yourself for anyone and sadly that's what you are doing.
 
Have some self-respect and live in the now — not in the past.
 
Sincerely,
Diana

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