| April 25, 2013

Hi Diana,

I started dating a great guy. He is everything I want. The glitch is that he drinks a lot more than he should. Our dates will start out perfectly, but then he keeps on drinking and becomes sloppy. It’s a big turn off. I don’t know how to handle it. Any suggestions?


Hi Julie,

You should consider yourself lucky that you are seeing these signs from the get-go. He might be a "great guy" when sober, but he's inconsistent. If it was one night where he drank too much, I would say let it slide, but he's establishing a pattern with you — and a bad one at that.

I recommend you go on a dry date, maybe a movie or any other place where alcohol is not served. Perhaps you can gently mention that it makes you uncomfortable when he has too much to drink. Then, wait for his reaction.  Should he be extremely defensive and unwilling to change his behavior, move along. If he says he is going to watch how much he drinks, give him another shot and see if his actions match his words.

But I will say this: If something does not feel right, trust yourself. It’s better to cut the cord now than get involved with a problematic individual.

All the best,