Dating Tips from 'The Millionaire Matchmaker'
Known for helping loveless millionaires clean up their acts in order to find "the one," Patti Stanger is a L.A.-based matchmaker with a no-nonsense philosophy.
On her Bravo show, "The Millionaire Matchmaker," she screens hundreds of women until she finds the perfect pairing for her bachelor du jour. So what does it take to win over men in the big city? We went to Stanger for the answers.
During the third season of "Millionaire Matchmaker," you went from Los Angeles to New York. How is dating different from coast to coast?
The good thing about New York is that men are much more chivalrous: they open the car door; they ask you out in advance. You can set your watch for an 8 o'clock curtain call if you're going to the theater — if they're going to cancel they're going to cancel and they'll do it in advance. They're not going to do it at the last minute like Californians do. People in L.A. are A.D.D. in the dating department and they flake constantly … there's always something that came up, which is code for a better offer, it's always a bigger, better deal.
What does it take to get into your database of women?
It's beauty, brains and class, and I think everything is relative. I don't tell women to go out and lose weight because they don't think they can get a man any other way — for instance in Chicago, women are more zaftig and heavier than they are in California. That said, I do believe that the happy girl gets a happy guy, so you have to exercise because the endorphins are flowing. You have to put yourself together to show off the assets. He's not buying a frumpty-dumpty granola muncher from San Francisco; he has to see what he's getting because men are visual.
What are some of the downsides to dating a millionaire?
They are very A.D.D.; they want it yesterday so if you're not available they'll move on to the next girl. They can be narcissistic. They're used to everyone saying "yes" and they've never heard the word "no." Now, the true hunter is going to be intrigued by the mystery of a woman saying no. But there are these passive aggressive male types who are kind of feminine in nature and when a woman says no, they're like, "Oooh, too much work," and they run away. So there can be that kind of a, "I have so much money; you should do what I tell you to do" attitude.
Who is your favorite couple of all time?
Well, it was and now it's broken up: Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey. They were my favorite because they were hot people with good laughter. It wasn't like one of them was funny and the other was just pretty; they balanced each other. So I don't know, now I have to figure this out, although I still want to fix up Jennifer Aniston. We're still waiting on that. I would also set up Jake Gyllenhaal with Kate Hudson.
Interesting. If you could set anyone up, who would it be?
This is a weird one! I would set up Jesus.
Jesus? Really? Why?
He's so spiritual, and coming from a Jew isn't that weird? But I have to be honest with you. I don't know if I would fix him up with Mary Magdalene. If he came back, I'd be like, "Okay let's talk: You teach me how to manifest and I'll teach you exactly what you need in a girl." It has to be somebody who's evolved and sees the world as one place, not somebody who sees it separated by church and state … I don't know who I'd pick, but it would have to be a hot Mother Theresa … are there hot Mother Theresas out there? Like a super hottie with a great, banging body and looks to kill? Maybe a hot Angelina type?
Switching gears a bit, what's your take on the rampant cheating epidemic that we've seen in the past year?
With Tiger, with Jesse James, [Eliot] Spitzer, Mark Sanford, John Edwards … when does it end? Notice they're all men. Where are the women? We had a private investigator on my XM radio show who told us that 50 percent more women cheat than men do, but they just don't get caught.
So what's the deal? Why do people cheat?
Hugh Hefner says "they do it because they can … they don't think they're going to get caught". I don't agree. I think it's boredom. I think most people cannot pick one person because after four or five years you get to know the devil you're with and you see something better and you want that. Now if you're the pervert type like Tiger and Jesse, once you hit porn, you can't expect a nice little country girl to be porn girl for you and take it up the you-know-what — it's not going to happen. So they're looking to get their kink on, and that's why they do it. With Mark Sanford, I think he was looking for the great love of his life and he was stuck. He couldn't get out being that he's a politician; it wouldn't look right. I think he wanted to get caught. Never put it in writing — that's my mother's motto — the wife read that and of course she kicked him out.
Who is the worst of them all, in your mind?
I think the worst one out of all of it is probably Larry King because he cheated with the sister, and that is something that cannot be healed in the family. Those children will suffer forever knowing that "auntie so-and-so did this". That rips a family apart.
With Tiger — I cannot believe that Elin didn't know. I don't think she knew the baker's dozen; let's be honest, who would know? How did this guy have time to do this? That's what I don't understand; he must have been taking Ephedra all day long! There's no other way. I don’t get it.
What's the best dating advice you ever received?
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he's calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you "I have dinner with my clients … won't be back till 11:45," — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.