How Men Really Think
Ever wonder what's going on inside a man's mind? How do you get his attention? Why is he so shallow? Very few men will tell you point-blank what the truth about men is. Steve Santagati, on the other hand, has no problem telling women exactly what men are thinking. The relationship expert that "The Ugly Truth" (starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl) is based on, Santagati is a self-proclaimed bad boy with a "degree in women." In his New York Times best-selling book, "The MANual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate," Steve exposes the inner workings of the seemingly complicated male mind. Now, Santagati himself is unleashing even more secrets, exclusively to Fox News Magazine!
How does a woman catch the eye of a guy that she's attracted to?
Ah ha, now herein lies the complexity. All men notice the same thing. When a girl walks in wearing cleavage and a short skirt, every single head is going to turn and check her out. That's exactly what I did on "The Today Show" when I took a girl to Bloomingdale's to show her how to dress. And that's what Gerard does with Katherine Heigl when he takes her to buy a bra that will make guys pay attention. You can call it sexist, but the bottom line is, men cannot help but look. We're visual creatures for a reason.
For a woman, you want to have the best version of your body type. You want to make sure to highlight whatever you feel is your strong point in terms of how men think. Men don't really care what kind of shoes you have on. And we don't really care if they're from Payless or Saks Fifth Avenue. If you have great legs, show them off. If you have a cute chest, show it off. Don't do too much: pick one, or a little bit of both.
So in order to get a guy, a woman has to wear revealing clothing?
The difference between getting a bad boy's eye and getting his attention is very different. Girls catch my eye on a daily basis. The ones that catch my attention are the ones that walk into a room with confidence and say things that I wouldn't expect a girl to say. Now, what I mean by that is that she shows me clearly that she understands how men think, and she's not judging us. Katherine Heigl said something wonderful about her husband; it was very astute. She said, "It used to drive me nuts when (he) would say certain things, but now I understand it all, because he doesn't see things the way that I do, so I don't judge him. That's just the way he looks at it, he's a man!" And it's nothing more complicated than that.
How does a woman go about finding her Mr. Right?
Doing your homework, understanding how men think, and being prepared for "the game" and "battle," if you will. Battle has a negative connotation, but it's really fun if you know how the rules work, because then you're both in on it and no one gets hurt. You also have to make sure that you're not home watching television thinking he's going to ring the door bell. I don't know how many cable repair guys you would actually want to date!
You've got to be out there doing things. Like I surf ... it's all guys with one girl! She's got the attention of all of us and she's not even that good-looking! It's all about understanding where the men are — Home Depot, surf shops. Go in being prepared. Have the need to buy something and look sexy. If you want a relationship that's harmonious, you have to understand how the opposite sex thinks.
Is it okay for women to pick up men?
It's okay for you to make an initial contact, whether it's a cute little smile or it's a slight hello, or whatever the case may be. But you want him to chase you, because if you give him too much, he's going to say, "This is too easy." It's the same reason you'd be bored.
In a club setting, most guys are going to love any kind of attention and any kind of sure thing. But in real life, like in the grocery store or post office, my feeling is that a woman's job is to see a guy she likes and just give him a seductive, slight signal that she's open for conversation. If he doesn't come, he's not interested. So, you kill two birds with one stone.
If you could pinpoint one truth about men that comes as a huge surprise to women, what would it be?
That we fall in love easier than you think. And that we have bigger hearts than you think. And that when the right woman comes along, we pace back and fourth, and we wonder, "Does she like me as much as I like her?" That's the scary thing for both sexes: No one ever wants to be the one that likes the other one more. That's the truth — the ugly truth — about men.
Steve is the CEO of Bad Boys Finish First at BadBoysFinishFirst.com.