| September 24, 2013

What does faith have to do with love? Everything! Clients often come to me saying, “I want you to find me love, but I don’t really expect it to happen.” Other times, I hear from religious folks who say they need to "wait on God" to show them their partner. 

The bottom line is, they're both right. What you believe, you achieve. However, without faith, there’s no chance of receiving what you desire, especially the love you ultimately deserve. A lack of faith can keep you from experiencing the fullness of love and the opportunity for love to find you.

READ: Is Religion the Secret to a Strong Marriage?

Some of my religious clients believe that they need to wait for God to bring the right partner to them. At the end of the day, this is true. But that doesn't mean you should sit around and wait for God to send him or her on a silver platter!

You need to be pro-active when it comes to finding your soul mate! It’s up to you to get out there, become your own “love ambassador," and make sure you don’t miss out on meeting the one person in this world who was meant just for you. In my new book, "Real Love, Right Now," I outline a thirty-day plan to help you embrace your genuine self so you can find the love you’ve been waiting for, and the love that is actually waiting on you.

Once you’ve done the work and have begun to approach the world as your most authentic, genuine and healthiest self, you’ll naturally be more aware of others and open to a connection. Even when you are actively looking for love, it often appears when you least expect it! When you’re open and “love ready,” you might find your soul mate at the dry cleaner’s, on line at the bank, or even in the next car in rush-hour traffic. But it’s not enough to just sit there in traffic and wait for someone to notice you. You must have faith, make yourself spiritually and emotionally available at all times and intentionally put yourself in situations where you might find the right person. Go to parties and singles events, and ask your friends to help you "love scout" by keeping an eye out for potential partners with the deep spiritual qualities you are looking for.

READ: Got Wedding Envy? When to Talk to Your Partner About Marriage

Some of my clients and readers think it’s contradictory for me to say that you should forge your own path to finding love and that God will allow you to meet your soul mate when you are in touch with your genuine self, healed from your past wounds, and therefore love ready. Indeed, many faithful people believe that taking action in order to find love goes against God’s plan. But I believe that being pro-active is part of God’s plan. God has given you everything that you need to experience the fullness of love with another person. He gave you all the tools you need, and he wants you to use them.

If you don’t put yourself out there because you are afraid of going against God’s plan, you are simply getting in your own way and letting fear hold you back from finding true love. It is when you begin to approach the process of finding love with authentic, loving energy rather than fear and desperation that you are on the path God meant for you. That means taking steps to heal from your past wounds and embrace your authentic self while trusting that if you do the work, God will put the right person in your path. Even if you don’t believe in God, have faith that you will meet the right person. Stop getting in your own way and start allowing things to happen naturally.