Why Men Cheat And How To Stop It From Happening To You
There's nothing more effective at keeping a man from cheating than a good relationship. The simple element of guilt if he so much as contemplates infidelity is more powerful than the fear of a breakup, ostracism by friends and family or contracting an incurable disease.
Still, there is no surefire way to keep him from ever having a moment of weakness. So, let's begin by looking at the reasons men cheat and then try to find some possible solutions.
- The main reason why men cheat is that they have psychologically checked out of the relationship, or at least the sexual aspect of it. They may have lost interest altogether, or simply become bored with the repetitive "Groundhog Day" sex. It's his fault as much as yours that the thrill has diminished, the variety is non-existent and things have fallen into a rut. He's bored and his libido demands more.Z
- Another cause is opportunity. It may be a co-worker, an old classmate who found him on Facebook or a chance meeting with a stranger at happy hour with the guys. The thrill of something new makes him feel like a desirable man again. Maybe he gets lost in the moment and goes along with it "once, for old time's sake." Perhaps a few cocktails have tied and gagged his moral compass, so he screws up.
- Men may also cheat when they find themselves suffering from emotional chaos, perhaps brought on by a bitter argument with a girlfriend. Men often deal with turmoil through destructive means like drinking, drugs, violent behavior and forbidden sex. They will resort to anything to make the pain go away, and sex does a pretty good job of that.
The key to keeping your man from cheating lies in preempting these conditions and situations.
1. Keep things interesting. If you are feeling a little bored with your sexual routine (even if you blame him), then he is most likely bored as well. Change things up. Be the one to initiate sex more often, and then take charge of the performance. Try some of the things he used to love when you were first dating.
2. Never let him forget you exist. You don’t want to smother your man or seem clingy, but he is your man. If he's at the office late or out with the guys, you can text him a quick "I love you," "I miss you" or "I have a special surprise for you when you get home!" Just don't ask him where he is or when he'll be home. You've still reminded him he has a woman at home who loves him and is thinking about him. Use your love to force guilty thoughts out of his mind.
3. Let him know the consequences. Early in the relationship, you can let him know in a lighthearted way (but with a deadly serious undertone) you will not tolerate a cheater. Tell him straight out when he's basking in the afterglow of your affection. He will remember that and think about it before he cheats. It may not stop him, but if you are still worth coming home to for him, it just might.
4. Don't nag. Some men live for their girlfriends, and some men just put up with them. Be the kind of girl men live for. It won't make you "unliberated." In fact, it will probably make him your willing cabana boy, doing everything he can to please you. Cook meals he enjoys, watch the football game with him, give him space and silence when he wants to read the paper or watch the news, and give him plenty of brief touches and smooches so he never loses that connection to you.
And above all, don't nag him or argue in a destructive way. Remember, you are his support system, so when you beat him up, that can throw him into emotional turmoil with nowhere to turn. He doesn't have all of the options you do — tears, girlfriends, mom or leftover pizza. The open, tender arms of another woman might just soothe his soul.